27 things I learned at 27
The 27th element in the periodic table is Cobalt.
It’s a lustrous, silvery-blue metal. It is magnetic. Now this year was a lot like that, I attracted my tribe.
I almost did not write the blog I write every birthday. Twitter has made these lists a little too redundant, and well did I really wanna keep marketing my age online?
But then I read the blog I wrote at/around 22. The 22-year-old me claimed Sangria as her drink, and said mint tea was overrated?! The 27-year-old me reading that blog had to set the record straight. Just so that the future versions of me have something to reset when they read this one.
So here’s a snippet of what my current self would tell my 22-year-old self.
1. Mint tea is not overrated.
It’s our favorite tea at the moment. After drinking it on so many crisp mornings, mostly during lockdowns, it smells like familiarity and resilience.
2. Don’t just do it because everyone else is.
Just because everyone ordered a beer, you don’t have to. Just order the first drink off the menu, that’s how we discovered “our drink”, a classic espresso martini. Sorry sangria, it was great while it lasted.
3. Lean into things that make you uncool.
We’ve stopped forcing ourselves to like or care about things we don’t want to. I am alright owning each and every one of my quirks and honestly, it is so freeing.
4. You are not boring. Your definition of fun is different.
We also don’t consider ourselves boring anymore. Now, I like elaborate dinner parties, and being back home by 11 to snuggle up with a book. And we have found a tribe of people who finds this extremely fun.
5. You find your tribe by being you.
When I was truly me, talking about uncool things and being home by 11, I stumbled upon my kind of people. We bonded on our shared ambitions and inhibitions, sometimes over a glass of wine, and sometimes in DMs.
6. Just hit publish.
Yeah, DMs. I slid into a lot of DMs, and my DMs were blessed back. Like you, I was terrified of posting my writings or experiments online. I did it anyway, thinking what could go wrong. And to my surprise, nothing did.
7. It’s alright if it scares you.
Posting online does still makes us anxious. We still overthink and get anxious every time we post, but with every post and every kind DM, it gets better.
8. You are not thoughts, you are not your anxiety.
But overall, we have successfully forsaken the title of “anxious”. You are not your thoughts, you are what you choose to do with your thoughts.
9. Find out what makes you jealous and use them as signposts.
Choose to dissect your thoughts, and find out what makes you jealous. What is that the other human (or cat) has or is doing that you want too? Whatever it is you can choose to build it for yourself…
10. Know what you don’t want to be.
…or choose not to. I am still experimenting and figuring out who I want to be, and that has led me to know very clearly what I don’t want to be. Is this the good part of getting older?
11. Growing old is a privilege.
On being old right. I will accept this is not something I am 100% okay with it. I am spending a lot of time learning to acknowledge how big a privilege it is to grow old. To be around to see things happen to you, to your loved ones. To see your body change, and to have plans and hopes.
12. Keep your hopes up.
Plans and hopes? This pandemic has squeezed every inch of hope out of us. But, be a rebel and plan things. Hopes and dreams got this far, didn’t they?
13. Staying near family is a luxury.
Far indeed. Sometimes I feel too far from my family. The most challenging part of the last two years has been being away from my family. My life decisions have led me this far, and I am still figuring this one out. It’s on my mind.
14 & 15. Take a lot of time to make decisions, but once you do commit. Do not overshare.
Life decisions, oh wow. Sounds adult. We promised ourselves we won’t overshare, so we are very tactfully gonna skip this point in the public.
Note to self: I made some good decisions this year.
16. You did the best you could at that moment.
We’ve stopped being so hard on ourselves for some of the bad, cringy, totally disastrous at times decisions we have made at times. You did your best.
16. Work on your self-talk.
Calling myself out when I am rude to myself, is one of the best things I have started doing. We don’t pull people apart, especially ourselves. Would have recommended to highly self-critical 22-year-old you as well.
17. Keep a pile of books in all corners of your home.
Would also recommend having books all around the house. It still makes us happy.
18. Things need time and space.
Also, we own plants now. I thought I was terrible at taking care of plants — but all I had to do was stop being so goddamn perfectionist all the time. Some things need time and space to grow and flower. (yeah and water, don’t forget that!)
19. Make time to send thoughtful notes to people.
This might come as a surprise to you, but we love voice notes now. I have loads of them saved on my phone, from friends all over the world.
20. Building friendships as adults is hard, but do it anyway.
I thought moving 4 cities in the last 5 years is not exactly the recipe for life-long friendships, but I was so wrong. I have friends I hold so close to my heart, even if we are not in the same city.
21. Reinvent your relationship with your parents as an adult.
Talking about friendships, my parents are still my best friends. We had to relearn a lot of things together, and we still are. They had to relearn how to take photos and videos…
22. Take a lot of videos.
When together, take a lot of videos. Stitch them together. To share or not to share on TikTok is highly debatable so far.
23. Also, recover and store your parent’s wedding videos.
They are all blotchy and time-consuming formats from 80s/90s, but you will be so thankful for it.
24. Make a lot of stuff.
Making something is gratifying af. If it seems too big, just MVP the f**k out of it. But take that first step.
25. You will be glad you started today.
Put your head to it, and start wherever you are.
26. Just convince your mind you can do it.
Also, head, getting there is hardest in your head. When you know you can do it in your head, you end up doing it all the way.
27. Replace “should” from your vocabulary.
“I should be tweeting. I should be this rich by now. I should be this senior by now. I should be doing this. I should look and be like this.”
Nopes. I am perfectly alright where I am. Thank you.
Lots of love. For every version of you out there.
Chhavi xx
